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Resilience

Building your Self-worth from Life’s Hardships

Confident teen

Robin Coach Nyeesha Williams spoke with Robin CEO Sonny Thadani on IG Live about the importance of developing your self-worth. In counseling others Nyeesha leverages Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) techniques, but she credits her own personal experience overcoming childhood traumas as her best tool in understanding, connecting and advising others how to cope with trauma, grief and hardship.

Q: First, how do you define self-worth?

A: Self-worth is an internal sense of being good enough for love. You are worthy enough to experience all the emotions that come with your accomplishments.

Q What is your advice on how to best build self-worth?

A: You first start with your truth. You need to be honest with what your values are and what your ultimate purpose is. When you know this, you become confident in who you are and what you are doing.

Great tools that have helped me build self-worth are positive affirmations and journaling. Also critical for building self-worth is having the right people to connect with on a deep level. Everyone needs a support system, a lifeline. We all need our family and friends to understand our values and purpose so they can fully support our journey.

Being able to connect on a deep level with people who align with your values is critical for building your self-worth.

Q What is your positive affirmations routine? When do you take time to do that?

In the morning right after brushing my teeth, I stand in front of the mirror and really look at myself. I think of an affirmation to start this particular day. I then repeat the affirmation 3 times in the mirror. By looking in the mirror, I am able to look myself in the eye and affirm my greatness.

In addition to affirmations, I journal at the end of each day. I reflect on whether or not the affirmation I set at the beginning of the day has served me. I ask myself, “How can I show up for myself in a better way?”

By looking in the mirror, I am able to look myself in the eye and affirm my greatness.

Q What can we do when we are experiencing pain and not feeling great about ourselves?

This is where Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) can really be helpful. It teaches us how to identify negative automatic thought patterns. Once you know what the negative thoughts are, then you can face them head on and replace them with more objective, realistic thoughts. You can start to take negative thoughts that can lead to destructive behavior and shift the thoughts to be more positive. CBT can be learned and incorporated into your daily life with practice. It has been scientifically proven to lessen the severity of depression and anxiety as well as help people overcome and cope with addiction.

Q We’re taught to “walk it off” and “get over it” when something painful happens to us. What are your thoughts on this advice? 

A I personally don’t agree with the advice to “Walk it off.” Although it may feel good in the moment to “walk it off”, it can be an act of avoidance. You are just pushing the issue down the road, trying to find something to distract you from the issue and the pain or grief it may cause.

But you have to deal with it eventually. My advice is to deal with it in the now. Start by asking yourself important questions like “Why do I feel this way?” and “What could have happened differently?” Then you need to let go of what you cannot control.

If you are going through hardship now, I ask you to please give yourself grace. Who you were yesterday is not who you are today. You are always learning and you can always move forward. Just keep striving to make sure you are in alignment with the truest version of yourself.

Give yourself grace. Just keep striving to make sure you are in alignment with the truest version of yourself.

Q Anything else that you think is important in building your self-worth?

A I am big on setting boundaries. It has really changed my life. It signals to people how they can deal with you. It is an act of self-care and it is not selfish. Boundaries allow us to set limits and consequences so others can’t take advantage of or hurt us.

Q Can you name one person who inspires you?

A I find inspiration everywhere! I am inspired by the resiliency of a flower blooming after enduring heavy rains. I am inspired by so many people everyday.

Ms. Lauryn Hill inspired me to be myself, speak my own truth, be vulnerable and not be apologetic for it.

But if I had to choose one person, it would be Lauryn Hill. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is one of my favorite albums of all time. Ms. Hill inspired me to be myself, speak my own truth, be vulnerable and not be apologetic for it. She is fierce, independent, proud and outspoken.

About the Coach

Nyeesha D. Williams

Nyeesha D. Williams.

Nyeesha is an accomplished author and student at Harvard Business School. With more than 20 years of experience in women’s health, clinical research, and trauma release, Nyeesha helps Robin students find their purpose and become more self-aware.

Meet Nyeesha